So it is 8:44am on a Bank Holiday Monday and I am the only person on this planet to think that is a reasonable time to wake up on a day of rest. I should actually be going into work and opening up the store, but I woke up at 8am thinking I was tired and called in sick. That's the way our society works nowadays, 'just call in sick'. Whack a doctors note on the table that says you have swine flu and they'll give you as much time off as you need to hang around a pig farm, or a taco restaurant, or whatever it was that gave you swine flu in the first place. One thing I have learnt from this whole sorry 'pandemic' episode is that I dislike Mexicans. Don't ask me why, it's just some judgemental streak in me has decided I wouldn't give a Mexican my seat on the bus, pregnant or not.
Anyway, less of this mild racism, don't want the net police knocking on my door with a warrant to search my place for anti-mexican paraphernalia. 'Oh yes Mr net police, sorry, it's all hidden under the robe with the pointy white hood and the 10,000 BNP leaflets!'
I jest, I got rid of those leaflets weeks ago..
I've been thinking, what am I going to use this blog for? Will it be for the good of mankind? Will I use it to preach to the masses (masses being my two followers), on the need for change in the World? And then I thought, fuck no, I'm just going to use this bad boy to vent, randomly complain on matters like mexicans, and use it to better my career as a internet bum. Operation successful so far, in my opinion.
Right, now I'm rambling and seeing as I hate reading people ramble, I can imagine you (yes, you! I'm pointing at you, the one with the eyes and the nose and the T-SHIRT) probably don't want to read ramblings either, so I shall try and construct them into something more beneficial for the both of us.
I feel this will be a short one this morning, as I am not on any form of alcohol or drugs. Although the alcohol is still swimming around in my stomach from last night, nicely mixed with a pint of milk now. Nothing beats a hangover like milk. Actually, drinking more alcohol tends to beat a hangover, but then I think they've got a word for that nowadays..Ah yes, 'alcoholic'.
Some people say I drink too much, smoke too much, bite my nails too much, think too much, talk too much, in fact it looks like I do everything to the extreme. I just have an excessive personality. As I typed in Google 'excessive' to make sure I was spelling it right it came up with some 'suggestions', one of those being 'excessive sweating'. Now I don't know about you, but I found that quite insulting that they would suggest such a thing. Who looks up excessive sweating? Which led me on to images.. Now, I know there is a fetish for everything, even for Mexicans I would assume, but what worries me is that people actually put pictures up of themselves sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish market.
I wonder what he's sweating about here? My bets are that this is some kind of spelling bee, and Mr Bush has been asked to spell 'America'. Poor Bush, gone but not forgotten.
Anyway, you may have noticed I have two beautiful and wonderful pictures in my blog today, there will be a prize for the best caption on either of them. What is this prize I hear you cry?! Well, it'd be a patronising pat on the head, and the knowledge that you are the best caption writer out of what I assume will be two entries.
Anyway, less of this mild racism, don't want the net police knocking on my door with a warrant to search my place for anti-mexican paraphernalia. 'Oh yes Mr net police, sorry, it's all hidden under the robe with the pointy white hood and the 10,000 BNP leaflets!'
I jest, I got rid of those leaflets weeks ago..
I've been thinking, what am I going to use this blog for? Will it be for the good of mankind? Will I use it to preach to the masses (masses being my two followers), on the need for change in the World? And then I thought, fuck no, I'm just going to use this bad boy to vent, randomly complain on matters like mexicans, and use it to better my career as a internet bum. Operation successful so far, in my opinion.
Right, now I'm rambling and seeing as I hate reading people ramble, I can imagine you (yes, you! I'm pointing at you, the one with the eyes and the nose and the T-SHIRT) probably don't want to read ramblings either, so I shall try and construct them into something more beneficial for the both of us.
I feel this will be a short one this morning, as I am not on any form of alcohol or drugs. Although the alcohol is still swimming around in my stomach from last night, nicely mixed with a pint of milk now. Nothing beats a hangover like milk. Actually, drinking more alcohol tends to beat a hangover, but then I think they've got a word for that nowadays..Ah yes, 'alcoholic'.
Some people say I drink too much, smoke too much, bite my nails too much, think too much, talk too much, in fact it looks like I do everything to the extreme. I just have an excessive personality. As I typed in Google 'excessive' to make sure I was spelling it right it came up with some 'suggestions', one of those being 'excessive sweating'. Now I don't know about you, but I found that quite insulting that they would suggest such a thing. Who looks up excessive sweating? Which led me on to images.. Now, I know there is a fetish for everything, even for Mexicans I would assume, but what worries me is that people actually put pictures up of themselves sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish market.
I wonder what he's sweating about here? My bets are that this is some kind of spelling bee, and Mr Bush has been asked to spell 'America'. Poor Bush, gone but not forgotten.
Anyway, you may have noticed I have two beautiful and wonderful pictures in my blog today, there will be a prize for the best caption on either of them. What is this prize I hear you cry?! Well, it'd be a patronising pat on the head, and the knowledge that you are the best caption writer out of what I assume will be two entries.
Poodle Tip
p.s He replied, but now he's not replying again..Men?!
Ok... right...
ReplyDeleteCaption: When you have as much body hair as a Mexican, you don't NEED to wear a top!
Caption: This photo was taken shortly after George Bush found out that although Santa wasn't actually real, he'd still get a christmas present from his Dad.